Emotional Abuse is Not Just for Romance, Part 1: Parental Narcs
Welcome to my 7-Part Series: Emotional Abuse is Not Just for Romance, featuring weekly emotional abuse topics and guest bloggers. It’s time to bring abuse awareness into the light, and dive into the areas of life where we have the potential to be abused in relationships other than romantic partnerships. In this week’s feature, we’ll be talking about parental narcissism.
I touched on this a little bit in my previous blog, Did Your Parents Groom You For Future Narcissistic Relationships?, and not surprisingly, a lot of readers shared how this laid the groundwork for their future toxic connections. (Just like Bethany, who shared her experience in How I Muted My Mom and Took Control of My Life).
Think about it. How else would someone feel comfortable with guilt trips, putdowns, and feelings of unworthiness if they weren’t first primed by their parents (or other adult “role models”) to be predisposed to accepting this kind of behavior as normal? How would someone know any different that this was not a healthy relationship when it was the standard environment they grew up in?
They wouldn’t…not until they were faced with this repetitive pattern in other relationships, friendships, and situations and finally broke the cycle.
Many don’t realize that this is actually a childhood wound that draws them into the very nature of a narcissist because it feels so familiar and comfortable subconsciously.
Are you wondering if you lived with a narc parent? Wait, what? But they were so incredibly loving and supportive and pillars of the community and everyone loved them? Well, absolutely, not every parent is a narcissist, obviously, but if you even have to wonder if they are or not, chances are—they are.
Did they seem to reign control over everything you said, did, experienced? Was there pressure on you to be a people pleaser (especially where they were concerned) and heavy doses of guilt trips to get you to feel bad enough to acquiesce to their demands, even if you felt uncomfortable? Did they thrive on being in the limelight for your accomplishments, taking credit for raising the fabulous person you are (even though you were the one who accomplished it?)
If any of this sounds familiar to you, perhaps your upbringing might have been a little on the toxic side. But you are not alone. Check out other blogs, especially Bethany’s story, and find out how they diffuse their parent’s abuse.
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